The rantings of a beautiful mind

On life, society, and computer technology.

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I live in the Fortress of Solitude. I drive the Silver Beast. My obsession is justice. I used to be a Windows software developer. I retired in 2000 when my stock options helped me achieve financial security.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Feeling No Pain, Feeling No Joy, Part 3

My shrink (a world-renown sex and relationship expert) tells me that marriage is like climbing Mount Kilimanjaro (he used to say climbing Mount Everest, but he has since changed his mind because it’s not really **that** hard!). In other words, marriage is extremely hard work.

Not only hard, but sometimes very painful.

There’s hard work, and then there’s hard work. I used to work very hard at my job and career, but I never complained because I enjoyed the sense of accomplishment. The hard work was relatively easy to endure.

But the hard work in relationship is not so easy to endure. And I always complain about it because there is no joy to appreciate...no sense of accomplishment. I **hate** working at a relationship – it’s just too much for me to take.

I suppose the end goal is desirable: to have a blissful relationship. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe I can get there. I don’t believe I can achieve a blissful relationship. And therein lies the problem. If I don’t believe it, how can I be expected to endure the pain and hard work?

And who can make me believe? Who can reshape my worldview and cause me to lower my guard? Thus far, no one. I wonder if such a persuader exists...

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