The rantings of a beautiful mind

On life, society, and computer technology.

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Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I live in the Fortress of Solitude. I drive the Silver Beast. My obsession is justice. I used to be a Windows software developer. I retired in 2000 when my stock options helped me achieve financial security.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Hattori Hanzo of Rice Cookers

“The Zojirushi, known to me as the Hattori Hanzo in its class.”

Gizmodo rice cooker review

Cuisinart beating a Japanese branded rice cooker?! Honto-desuka? Doshite? Dame-dai-o! Silvania beat Sony again? How can this be? What is the world coming to???

What’s next?! a WOK made in Czech Republic beating those made in China?

They must have used the wrong cooking cycle for the Zojirushi in the wrong cycle. Cooking white rice in it is supposed to take anywhere from 48-55 minutes, not a mere 44 minute average. They must have been using the quick cycle, which is probably why they got somewhat inconsistent results, which is completely possible if they ran cycles after cycles (which would probably never happen in real life since it takes so long to cook one batch of rice).

Even in Japan, the Zojirushi cookers were top of the line. I think that there was something wrong in that test. Especially since their average cooking time was so low compared to the time that it would take.

What the hell does "Chris Null" have in his genetic code that specially enables him to discern good rice from Uncle Ben's? I’m not convinced. I’ll put my fuzzy logic vs. the white-bread Cuisinart any day. Brian Lam... You’re that much closer to being excommunicated for peddling this culturally biased smut.

This is ridiculous. I've owned that exact model Zojirushi for five years now. It plays a song when it starts and when it’s done and often takes less than 30 minutes to cook rice (it has a "quick" setting as well). The rice is always good as long as you are consistent with how much water you put in there (my girlfriend tends to put in too much water so when she makes it the rice is sort of mushy). It’s easy to clean, it has a retractable electric plug, and I can come home to perfect rice (or porridge!) if I set it beforehand. Furthermore, it re-heats rice that you leave in there and it still tastes good. I've used this cooker 3-4 times minimum a week for five years and it’s never let me down. It’s worth every penny. (However, the Sanyo I hear is pretty good... but I wouldn't trade my Zojirushi in for anything.) Wired is on crack.


"I'm done doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose I was a success. I've done this, because philosophically I'm sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut."
Hattori Hanzo, Kill Bill: Vol. 1

Hattori Hanzo: What brings you to Okinawa?
The Bride: I'm here to see a man.
Hattori Hanzo: Oh yeah? You have a friend living in Okinawa?
The Bride: Not quite.
Hattori Hanzo: Not a friend?
The Bride: I've never met him.
Hattori Hanzo: Never? Who is he, may I ask?
The Bride: Hattori Hanzo.
Hattori Hanzo: [Serious, switches to Japanese] What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?
The Bride: [Japanese] I need Japanese steel.
Hattori Hanzo: [Japanese] Why do you need Japanese steel?
The Bride: [Japanese] I have vermin to kill.
Hattori Hanzo: [English] You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.
The Bride: [English] Huge.


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